Having a cat with long, angora-like fur poses many obstacles. Thick dreadlocks accumulate under the legs and belly. It's a less than desirable appearance. Even with brushing, combing and liquid de-tangler, defeat is admitted. The battle is lost.
A longhaired cat with a happy colon also provides flashes of wonderment.
“What is that smell?”
Mac, our affectionate indoor/outdoor feline, loves to rub his body on any human, dog, tree, piece of furniture or appliance he can find. Like most cats, he has a tendency to poke his derriere directly in your face. A normal feline maintains, even prides themselves, with their private-part hygiene. Mac would rather keep everyone guessing, including our dog.
After a number of dreaded feline butt washes in the laundry room sink, I gave up. Balancing the sprayer, soap and sharp claws should be left to the professionals. After the last sink venture, Mac had an appointment with the groomer for an underbody, hindquarter shave.
When I dropped him off, I explained his unfortunate natural habit.
Happily, the groomer piped, “Would you like me to give him ‘The Lion?’”
This should have been my cue to voice specifics.
She can’t be serious. Who in their right mind would shave their cat to resemble a lion (and in the winter, no less)? I figured the disclosed information of him being an indoor and outdoor cat was sufficient.
“Just make him look good,” I said.
As I walked out the door, thoughts of a clean, fragrant, non-tangled cat eased my mind. No more 10 p.m. sink baths, no more scratched arms, no more leaky sprayer. The entire family will now have the freedom to work on laptops, read books and watch TV without fear of Mac’s affection and dangling surprises.
After four hours, the anticipated call from the groomer finally illuminated my smart phone’s screen. As the automatic doors opened, I glanced through the window hoping for a sneak preview. As I approached the counter, Mac sat patiently in utter humiliation.
He glared as if to say, “How could you?”
Mac resembled a domesticated, 10-pound, pathetic black lion. His body was completely shaved. His face, neck and feet were spared. He had the tail of a rat, excepting a large billowy ball at the end. Apparently the groomer believed “The Lion” would make him “look good.”
My hands covered my mouth while hard laughter filled my stomach. The more I laughed, the more he glared.
For the remainder of the day, I occasionally forgot our earlier expedition – only to be reminded when he swaggered into the kitchen or lingered at the door.
The family’s mixed emotions and photo ops, as well as a pronounced sense of confusion visible in our dog, lingered for days. Friends and neighbors popped in for confirmation of Mac’s recent lionizing.
Granted, it wasn’t exactly what I wanted, but the experience was worth every penny. If you suffer similar circumstances, make sure instructions to the groomer are specific, unless you prefer “The Lion.”
