Moms Talk: Snow Days

Welcome back to Moms Talk!

This week, Suffield's talented and capable Moms Council takes on this question:

How do you handle snow days? Specifically, how do you handle a lot of snow days? How does it affect work and life to have your little darlings at home for a whole day? What do you do with them? How do you make up the time you lost at work or getting things done while taking care of them? What are the positives?

Wendy Pierman Mitzel

When snow days pile up, there's only a few good ways to deal with the kids being home from school: give up and give in.

But seriously, a random snow day here and there means a day without too many parameters. Sleeping in, canned soup and television are part of my equation. The board games that otherwise barely see the light make it to the kitchen table for a round. And let's not forget the wet snow pants and soggy boots melting on the wood floor after an excursion outside.

But after a few leisurely days, snow days lose the luster they once had. Kids begin fighting with each other and the allure of snowball fights holds very little shine. All of the boxed cake mixes have been made. You're down to making lunch out of a can of chickpeas and water chestnuts.

Coping with the compound snow days can be a bear for those with nine-to-five jobs as well as work from home types.

In my circle, some friends have relatives they can call for back up. Other friends trade days taking each other's kids. When older, high school students are also out, they are good options for babysitting.

The truth here is in order to get any work done while the kids are home from school, something has to fall to the wayside. A few hours of responding to work emails from home might mean a movie purchased from cable on-demand. A table covered with crafts, like food coloring and noodles for macaroni necklaces, equals two short phone calls to clients.

Of course, the aftermath of a snow day is likely to look more like a tornado.

But the couch cuddles, gooey brownies and resulting homemade noodle jewelry make it all worth it. Or so you tell yourself while scrambling to turn in that final presentation covered in chocolate fingerprints.

Sherry Paquette

Shortly after my divorce I found myself with a 6-year-old and an 8-year-old in a house way too big, with way more land and more driveway than I could handle as a single mom. It snows and snows and there is, in my estimation, a foot out there. I clean off the huge deck and the twenty stairs leading to the backyard and then tackle the path around the house and front steps and walkway.

All that’s left is the monstrous driveway that seemed like such a godsend when viewed as an extra-long basketball court. The boys had been up since 5 a.m.—woken by the constant drone of our neighbor’s monstrous snow blower—and they are itching to get outside.

So out we go to tackle the driveway and the enormity of the task prompts the theme from Jaws to pulse in my head. I plug in the garage stereo (a glorified boom box previously used in my former life at the beach), I play some Creed and Van Morrison while we are shoveling. At one point we are doing a kind of shoveling dance but the whole thing does get cleared—and they are unabashedly laughing. Obviously this was before the teenage years, when all signs of happiness need to be held tightly in check.

Nothing can lessen our joy. Not even when one of our perpetually cranky neighbors leans out a window and yells, “Turn down that racket! It is not necessary to listen to that crap music while shoveling!” I yell back that her snow blower woke us up at the crack of dawn. “Lady, you need to be medicated!” One of my finer moments.

I was lucky to work for the school system when the kids were young, so their snow days were also my snow days. However, there is something to be said for being shipped off to Meme’s or Auntie’s house on a snow day. Besides the fun to be had and family connections to be strengthened, there are a couple of very cool life lessons that can be embedded into impressionable children.

Ask the kids to offer to help their grandparents (or other snow day caregiver) with a project, like cleaning out the attic or basement. This helps show the kids that everything in life does not center on them (shocking, I know!) and that giving back feels good. Another fantastic lesson is the importance of work. Instead of feeling guilty when you have to work and the children have the day off, spin it as a teaching opportunity, learning the value of great work ethic.

Snow days give an extra chance for parents and children to have fun together, which is something that so often gets lost in our days filled with obligation. Spread a blanket on the living room floor and play board games. Cover the kitchen table with paper and bring out the crayons and finger paints. Make s’mores and cookies and cupcakes and let everyone do their own individual decorating. Put all the kitchen chairs in the living room and give the kids blankets and sheets to make forts. Get out the pots and pans and wooden spoons and let the music begin!

When the weather permits, fill water bottles with food coloring and let everyone “paint” on the snow. Make snow people—and make sure to decorate with old hats, scarfs, boots, etc. Go out sledding—Enfield High is close by and has a great hill! When you come back, shed the wet clothes and make hot cocoa and climb on the couch together under a cozy blanket and watch movies, or have everyone participate in telling a ghost story.

This is the scrumptious making of beautiful memories while totally living in the moment!

Cami Beiter

In a normal winter season, rarely do we see the amount of snow days we’ve experienced. I don’t care whether they’re family, friend or foe—being stuck in the house with anyone for an extended period of time gets on my nerves—unless you’re my dog.

He doesn’t complain and still follows me after I’ve exhausted my lung capacity while he throws up on the floor.

In the beginning, snow days can be a small relief. An extra few minutes of sleep, no rush to pack lunches and no urgency in retrieving clean underwear and socks needed for school. I roll in bed and tell myself, “Hell, they want clean underwear, they know where the dryer is.”

Handling snow days is like labor... one step at a time. Some moments can pass quickly, while others last longer than a bad meal with boring company.

When many days have accumulated, I found keeping the kids busy with outside activities is the best option. My kids love to go sledding. Prior to packing up the brood for an afternoon of hills and runny noses, a path must be cleared. While sledding is their choice of activity, shoveling is mine. If neighborhood kids are over, recruit their useful hands too. If they choose to not contribute, send ‘em home with no lunch.

I love watching them outside, bickering and yelling at one another. The house is temporarily quiet, leaving me alone with steeping tea and a happy dog. The less involved I become, the more they’re forced to solve the issue themselves. Once the boots are off and snow pants are hanging, reward them with hot chocolate or a favorite lunch.

Remember, you are in control.

If they start complaining about boredom, remind them of the un-shoveled walkways of neighbors (and the appreciation those neighbors will have for that unrequested gesture). If you allow them to control the environment, you’re doomed.

For the younger chaps, lots of crayons and construction paper is always a good option. Another fun thing to do is cook. Bake a cake from scratch, do dinner prep, make a marinade, cut vegetables... anything involving them in the kitchen. Give them the freedom to measure, separate and mix—anything to keep their minds occupied. Have them help clean up once the culinary creation is complete. Or, make folding laundry a game, dusting an art. Chores that plague your mind can be eliminated with little hands.

The key is to make it fun... reward the achievers.

In my neighborhood, there are parents that work outside the home and parents that work from home. Both are equally as important and valued. My husband travels for work and I am able to work from home. When multiple snow days arise, I am willing to take on a few stragglers. My youngest child has a good friend with two working parents... both travel frequently for their jobs. I offered to take their daughter so that one parent was able to catch a plane. The other parent was returning from New York City.

I empathize with the parents that deal with unexpected snow days. With this economy, snow days can leave a visible effect on your peers. Hard working parents realize this... we won’t take the days unless absolutely necessary.

I’ve always believed the best option is honesty. Be honest with your employer. Explain your situation. Be willing to work from home while snowed in. Prove that work completed at home is just as good, if not better, than work completed at the office. Most bosses are conscientious of the dreadful weather conditions.

If you have a job where you are unable to work from home, talk with your neighbors and friends that are home ahead of time—no surprises. Speak candidly of the possible increase in snow days and how you may help one another. Offer to take their kids when the opportunity arises. Make sure you verbalize your appreciation. No matter how small, everyone likes a little recognition.

The positive outcome of incorporating the caged youth is learned responsibility and working together. There is no reason why a child cannot help with household chores.

It helps alleviate your burden, while giving them a sense of accomplishment and independence. I stress praise and encouragement. Without those qualities, it’s looked upon as punishment.

I also believe a parent that is home supervising snow days must also reward themselves. Try to find little pleasures in simple, everyday routines. Pull out the good tea and add a little extra sugar, finish an extra chapter in your book or call an old friend.

Don’t become overwhelmed. You’re the decision maker and rule enforcer.

If they don’t like it, point to the shovel.

Lisa Coatti

The first snow day of the season is a little magical, like a free gift for your children. They’re excited as they see their town’s name scrolling by on the bottom of the television and you think, OK, life is on hold today.

An unexpected break from the hustle of the typical morning can be a great time to just relax, drink that second cup of coffee and let everyone lounge around in their pajamas for an extra hour or two. If the temperature isn’t below zero, snow is an instant and exciting outdoor activity, like getting a new toy.

You can perform that bundle up dance—snow hat, snow pants, coat, boots and gloves—and send them outside for fresh air and lots of exercise. Maybe later you heat up some hot chocolate, pop some popcorn and throw in a DVD. Everyone is having a great day.

That’s the first snow day.

By the third or fourth, the magic has vanished like a plane ride home from Disney World. Many moms I know can manage one day off from work or one day at home without structure, but as the days pile up, the stress becomes greater. It is rare that companies in New England close their offices due to snow. That means that a mom will either have to take the day off (and even part-time jobs mean a day off from pay as well) or do the child shuffle and find generous friends to watch the children. The financial impact can add stress.

When “stuck” at home with children, particularly day after snow day, the best advice I have is to maintain some structure. Keeping up your normal morning routine will be helpful. Have the kids get up, get dressed, brushed and ready, just like a school day. This will also lessen the pain when it is time to get up and go back to school.

Try to have a plan for the day. First breakfast, then play outside, do a craft, bake some cookies, catch up on school work (OK, that one has never flown in my house but it is a good idea). My children seem to feel that a snow day is a mandate that they do not have to do anything normally required on a weekday. I don’t think it is terrible to give them a little break, but once the fighting and chaos ensue, that is when I pull out the threat of homework, or worse, chores. It tends to quiet the battles.

The only sure thing about snow days is that come spring they should end. On the other hand, snow days are a good reminder to start planning for summer. This year we’ve had six or seven snow days, depending on which schools your children attend. Some moms might say they barely survived. To put it all in perspective, summer vacation lasts for more than two months.